Never Waste a Good Conflict.

The founders of Marriage Enrichment, David and Vera Mace, used to say, "Never waste a good conflict!!" on the surface this is so amusing, even ridiculous, since most couples don't want arguing and disagreements, even though they are inevitable for honest couples. The Maces' point is that behind every conflict is a feeling, and disclosing that feeling enables the partner to know vital information. 

Creative Use of Conflict is discovering "what made me do (say) that" rather than "look  what you made me do (say)." It is digging in on an issue and learning what's behind it before resolving it with a mutually agreed-upon solution.